It is important to keep the focus on the issue at hand and not to see it is an opportunity to air all the issues that the parties may have with one another. Make sure you keep on track and if the other party strays off course, gently guide them back to the issue being discussed.
How to stay focused during conflict:
concentrate on the issue and encourage the other person to stay focused too
bring the focus back to the specific issue if they bring up irrelevant information or avoid the issue
use phrases such as, 'I understand that you are concerned about x but what we are talking about at the moment is y'
write down other issues that are raised to remind you to follow them up at a later stage.
This technique is handy particularly when progress to resolve the conflict during conversation stalls or is slow. It involves identifying one or two relevant phrases and repeating them, like a broken record, until the other party recognises what you are saying or understands that you are not offering other options. This technique should never be used to stop someone from expressing their opinion or to reach a conclusion more quickly. If you are unable to reach a consensus, ask the other party if they would consent to using a facilitator or mediator to help resolve the issue.
